Laurel Canyon Review

Since The Tall Drink of Water subscribed to Netflix, we've been on a movie-by-mail binge. And it's fun - when I pick the movies.

He would argue otherwise (but then again, who wouldn't), but I pick better movies.

Because I don't particularly like the act of watching movies - that is, deciding which one to watch, deciding on a time because you have to factor in when you're going to eat, how long the movie is, what else you could be doing with those 2 hours of your life, etc. - I don't go in to watching a movie lightly, at home or at the theater.

I've been burned too many times by boring and mediocre movies. And unlike me, most people (The Tall Drink of Water, for example) are unwilling to walk out of movies or stop watching them if they're dull. Not me. I relish the walk-out. Getting to eat an hour before you thought you'd be able to makes the food sweeter, and I've never regretted not seeing the end of a movie I walked out on.

So I do my best to only watch movies I think I'll like. I'm well researched before I take that two-hour dive because I know it's very likely I'll have to stick it out because someone else wants to.

So last night after the first 40 minutes or so of Laurel Canyon, with Frances McDormand, Christian Bale and Kate Beckinsale, I was all for turning it off and watching TV instead. But TDW, ever the optimist, wanted to keep watching to see if it got better.

Our compromise was to watch it on fast forward and then watch only the scenes we thought would be important. (For me that was only the last one.)

Laurel Canyon is I guess about a son's wish for a decent mom. Bale plays the son, McDormand plays the mom. Good ol' mom, a rock producer, nearly lets her worthless boyfriend (and herself) seduce Bale's fiance, Beckinsale, before realizing she needs to stop with her bad parenting ways.

It was all too far-fetched for me. For example: You're a girl dating a guy. Now, imagine yourself making-out with your boyfriend's mom.

Go ahead, I'll wait.

Yeah. That was my reaction when McDormant and Beckinsale started kissing. First I was, "Ick.' Then I was, "Riiight." That on top of the fact it was slow-moving, too long and underdeveloped in its attempts at deep and meaningful. Relationships, blah blah.

Of course TDW picked out this movie. Though in his defense, he knows I'll watch Frances McDormand in anything. (Frances McDormand's living room Web cam? Hells yes I wanna see it!)

And, this goes without saying, but she was awesome in it, even if the movie was thin everywhere else.

Of course, my opinion on movies often differs from the reliable crowd. Best Picture Oscar winner Crash? After a good start I walked out thinking it was sophomoric and preachy. I thought the "coincidences" were so horribly manufactured that I laughed out loud, but the whole time I felt bad because I was thinking, "Aren't I supposed to love this movie? Isn't this supposed to say something about our everyday, American-way?"

The only thing Crash said to me was, "If you walk out now you can be done eating before it gets crowded."

Ditto for this last year's Big Brave Indie Movie Everyone Loves, Little Miss Sunshine. I loved the characters. They were funny and colorful and wildly entertaining, but the movie as a whole was a big bore for me. Only the last 45 minutes were any good. The rest of the movie, minus a few sweet moments here and there, was slight at best.

So, I've shown my cards. This should help you decide if you can ever trust any of my reviews.