Tuesday, May 31, 2011

It's Baaaaaack

Two trips to the pool(s)
Two trips to Taste
Two grill-outs
A funnel cake
Bridesmaids (hysterical)
Girls night out
Old friends, new friends
And several date nights with this dude I've been seeing, who also happens to be my boyfriend

Hello again, Summer. It's great to have you back!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Don't Look Back

To celebrate Bob's 70th birthday today I created this list of my fave Bob songs for you guys.

I tried to make it ten but couldn't so I decided to make it 15, then I couldn't do that either and since I make the rules around here it's 16+.

They're in no particular order other than the order I thought of them in, so basically that means all 16+ plus is my favorite Bob song of all time.

Right click on mp3 to download them. And you damn well should. I chose each version based on years of listening. My gift to you. Don't thank me, thank Bob.

I have to go to bed now because I have to be at work at 6:30 in the morning tomorrow... 'They'll stone ya when you're tryin' to be so good.'

1. She Belongs To Me
'She's got everything she needs, she's an artist, she don't look back.'

2. Tonight I'll Be Staying Here With You
'If there’s a poor boy on the street, then let him have my seat, ’cause tonight I’ll be staying here with you.'

3. When The Deal Goes Down
'More frailer than the flowers, these precious hours, that keep us, so tightly… bound.'

4. Visions of Johanna
'Louise, she's all right, she's just near.'

5. You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go
'But there’s no way I can compare, all those scenes to this affair, you're gonna make me lonesome when you go.'

6. Standing In The Doorway
'Don’t know if I saw you, if I would kiss you or kill you/It probably wouldn’t matter to you anyhow.'

7. Abandoned Love
'I love to see you dress before the mirror, won’t you let me in your room one time ’fore I finally disappear?'

8. It's All Over Now, Baby Blue
'Take what you have gathered from coincidence.'

9. Stuck Inside of Mobile With the Memphis Blues Again
'An’ she says, “Your debutante just knows what you need/But I know what you want'

10. Most of the Time
'I don’t compromise and I don’t pretend/I don’t even care if I ever see her again... Most of the time'

11. Don't Think Twice, It's All Right
'I ain’t sayin’ you treated me unkind/You could have done better but I don’t mind/You just kinda wasted my precious time/But don’t think twice, it’s all right.'

12. Your a Big Girl Now
'I can change… I swear.'

13. Tomorrow is a Long Place (Or Time, depending on which Bob source you're referring)
'I can’t hear the echo of my footsteps/Or remember the sounds of my own name.'

14. Most Likely You'll Go Your Way (And I'll Go Mine) - Dap Kings/Mark Ronson remix
'You said you told me that you want to hold me, but you know you're not that strong.'

15. Girl from North Country
'Please see for me see has a coat so warm/She once was a true love of mine.'

16. Not Dark Yet
'Every nerve in my body is so vacant and numb/I can’t even remember what it was I came here to get away from.'

+ Bonus track - Talkin' Bear Mountain Picnic Massacre Blues (The funniest song you will hear in your ENTIRE life.)
'Maybe we just better call off the picnic.'

Happy Birthday, Bob

Monday, May 16, 2011

Oh, We Fancy

Excuse me people, but you can't just roll into an upscale, expensive joint like Nicola's because you feel like it. Because you feel like dropping a bunch of money on dinner.

No, no, no. You need a reason. An excuse.

Since we didn't have any excuses - it's not your birthday? what about mine, could it be my birthday? what about a fake anniversary? - we made one up: I had a fantastic new dress and boots I needed to take for a spin, and Ray (my boyfriend not my dad) wanted an excuse to see me in a fantastic new dress and boots.

Excuses, check.

Nicola's was ours for a night.

First Course - Booze

The Boss Man is a complete wine snob (snif).

"Rotgut" is what he calls the wine I call delicious. So I sent him the URL to Nicola's wine list with the demand, "something awesome and reasonable." From his office I heard, "I can't believe they're charging 80 bucks for that swill!'

Who says wine snobs aren't charming?

But within minutes he'd consulted his fancy-schmancy wine ratings nerd site and recommended the Pinot Noir, Oliver Lane, 2007 for a mere $60. SOLD.

We drank it like we knew about notes and finishes and vintages, which we don't. But in a word, it was deeee-licious. (Dear Wine Spectator, that review is copyrighted, hands off.)

Second Course - Bread

I'd heard great things about the bread basket at Nicola's but daaaamn. Did Jesus knead this stuff?

I know what you're thinking, 'It's a bread-basket, whatever.' No, dude. It's not just a bread basket. It's a work of culinary art. All kinds of delightful varieties - some buttery, others brushed with olive oil, some adorned with tomato slices and cucumber, others flat or twisted into pretzel shapes. I wanted to hold it in my lap and dare someone to take a piece from me.

We agreed we could just sit and eat bread all night, forget about dinner. But we had to soak up all that wine, so...

Third Course - Treasure salad

We both had the Boucheron goat cheese salad, which was apple-vinaigrette dressing covering mixed greens and hiding a slice of warm goat cheese. Basically it was like discovering a treasure at the bottom of your salad. A warm, flavorful little treasure.

Fourth Course - Dinner

I went with a classic, the bolognese with tagliatelle. It's been on the menu at Nicola's either as a special or a permanent fixture since the restaurant opened 13 years ago, the waiter told me.

Sure, there are all sorts of lavish dishes on the menu and far fancier pastas, but I wanted something traditionally Italian. I wanted to be impressed by something you can get almost anywhere, but the one thing you can rarely get exquisitely done.

And here it is. Creamy, hearty, thick and perfect. I'm sure the people next to us were sick of my raves but I couldn't help it. Everything was so fantastic.

Ray had the short ribs with pureed parsnips. But let's be clear, he was completely green with envy over my choice. I get this giant bowl of pasta and he gets a giant plate with some short ribs and a circle of parsnip puree in one corner. His was good, but mine was better.

The best thing about dating me - in addition to my phenomenal dance moves - is that I always leave food on my plate. So he gets to eat 1.5 meals wherever we go - his and the rest of mine. When I'd eaten all I could take I slid my plate across the tablecloth so he could finish the rest.

He is a lucky guy.

Fifth Course - More Booze

Now, this is really going to surprise you guys but we decided to have a nightcap, which is a euphemism for "this is probably a bad idea."

Embracing this, we headed to Below Zero, which has become our 'go-to' on any given night, mostly because it's practically in Ray's backyard.

It's a gay bar frequented by older, established gays. You won't find any shirtless, oily younguns looking to mash on other shirtless, oily younguns here (sad) though I do happen to love shirtless oily younguns dancing to techno.

I drank a margarita as we sat the bar and watched videos. Remember music videos? BZ plays them on a constant loop. It's spectacular, and by spectacular I mean I revel in crushing Ray at naming artists - Madonna, Kylie Minogue, Janet Jackson. Like he has a snowballs chance in hell at a gay bar in besting me in naming artists.

Please. It's not even fair really.

The problem with Below Zero is I love it too much - because I can sit and watch videos of Madonna and Lady Gaga all night, and that makes me want to live there. (Did we bring my sleeping bag? What do you mean I don't have a sleeping bag?!)

I'm always up for another drink at that joint. Sit. Your ass. Down. Madonna is on. We are NOT leaving during Like A Prayer.

The other great thing about dating me are my completely reasonable responses to Madonna videos playing on a TV at 1 a.m.

So anyway, Nicola's date night - fantastic.

Thursday, May 05, 2011

I Had A Dream, I Had An Awesome Dream (That Lionel Richie Was My Boyfriend)

"Can I ask you a question?"

It seemed... serious. The colleague asking is from India, and usually we talk about the differences between American and Indian culture - sports, music, marriage, etc. It's always enlightening.

"Sure," I told him.

"Who is that man in that picture?"

"That man is Lionel Richie, my friend. And he's a lyrical genius."

Then I began singing the words to Hello. And I kinda got into, and started breakin' it down in my cube.

"Oh. I thought it was your boyfriend."

"Phsssht, I wish. If only my boyfriend had a bad-ass Jehri curl like that."

He used to have a mullet though. My boyfriend, not Lionel Richie. Buuuuut... then again, Lionel is looking very business in the front party in the back here.

This poster is awesome on so many levels.

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Well, It Could Have Been Worse!

Julie's not in this photo because she decided to get drunk instead of eat crepes. Or something like that.

The swear words I said to the rain on Sunday morning as my pony-tail and Mizunos filled with water would have made a longshoreman blush.

And the expletives I used to get my out-of-shape ass up Gilbert Avenue and then Eden Park hill… no one should be cursed at like that, least of all by their own foul mouth.

"Damn-it, Daugherty, you SUCK. How do you live with yourself, you miserable, lazy, horribly out of shape piece of (beep)! You should be (beeping) ashamed! (BEEEEEP!!!) This! This is all you've got to show for (beeping) yourself?! You're gonna let this hill kick your ass again?! Of course you are, because you (beeping) SUCK! You don't even deserve that gummi bear you're gonna eat... oooh! Gummi bears!"

Then I felt better.

It rained on me again this Pig. And it was a same out-of-shape slog for 6.8 miles as it was last year. And I could hardly walk for two days afterward I was so sore.

And yet, I would describe it all as fun. Can't wait for next year even!

But next year, things are gonna change - Imma be in shape! Imma run the whole time! Imma be lightning fast! Imma... wait, didn't I say this all last year?

Eh, whatevs.

To 2012!

Monday, May 02, 2011

Oh Hey, Great

It's Monday morning and there is a giant snake skin draped over my desk.

For the love of God it's Monday morning and there is a giant freakin' snake skin draped over my desk!

The end.