Can't Touch This

You probably don't know this about me, but I am freakin' master at Ms. Pac-Man.

Billy Mitchell is afraid of me, and rightfully so. I grew up in Marion, Indiana, where there is nothing to do but play video games and toilet paper people's houses. (Friend's houses, of course.)

I flexed my Ms. Pac-Mac my prowess last weekend at Western Bowl, sending several friends chasing ghosts and fruit in a futile attempt to beat me. Ha. Fools.

I might roll 3 gutterballs in a row, but I'm agile and deft when it comes to the hand-eye coordination of eating pixels in a maze of digital lines.

Wocka-wocka-wocka.