Comic Sans, Grape Stems & Hollywood Diets

Random excerpts from chats and emails this week:

• She hasn't eaten solid food in 2 weeks. She's on this diet where all she consumes is water and a special "tea" made of fresh lime juice and cayanne pepper.

• I have to tell you about single life. Well, I guess that wouldn't take long - it's boring.

• Judith, I've known you for 20 years, you've been a great influence on my life, blah, blah, blah. But I'm gonna have to let you go. Your font choice SUX. p.s. Gina said so.

• That would have sucked almost as much as getting "Bret" tattooed on the back of your neck.

• They were good friends, when they weren't drunk and beating the crap out of each other.

• Stamford--which kind of feels like a weird, east coast version of Dayton, OH. Even the mall is still kinda 80s. (Hello, carpet and glass elevators.)

• There were some seriously skanked up chicks. Like super tight tube dresses and stripper heels. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. And I saw some very disturbing/weird dancing as I walked past Cock and Bull. Cock and Bull!

• I have a hard time believing that it was a mistake eating that chocolate chip wheelie ice cream sandwich.

• My sources tell me that, during my absence, a certain web-bloggin', habit-quittin', ice-cream-lovin' web content research person was "borrowing" my cubicle and that this person happened to be snacking on the aformentioned healthy snack. I'm making no accusations; I'm just sayin'.

• The most eventful thing was taking a hike in Ault Park, and somehow getting off the trail and ending up in no man's land on Red Bank Road!

• I bet she totally bites your ponytail.

A million dollars to anyone who can guess the writer of each.