I'm supposed to sleep in this. Yay.
Last week I fired my podiatrist.
I went in because my gait is jacked up and causing some pain in my left foot. So I was all, "My heel-to-toe transition is jacked. I'm not pronating properly, and it's causing me to walk on the outside of my foot. What's up with that, yo?"
So he poked me in the hips a few times and said I have a leg length discrepancy.
"Doesn't everyone have that," I asked.
"Yeah, but as we get older it can cause problems. You just need an orthotic."
"You think so, huh? Hmm. You're fired."
Ok, I didn't say that out loud, but I was thinking it.
Explain to me how a podiatrist can properly evaluate foot pain generated from walking without watching you walk? He didn't do a gait analysis or anything. So he got fired. See ya, Podiatrist One.
Yesterday I went to see a new podiatrist, well call him Podiatrist Two. I told him the same things and gave him the same medical history.
He took some measurements.
"Flex your foot," he said.
"I am."
"Flex it!"
"I am!"
"Wow."
That's positive, right?
So he had me walk up and down the hallway a few times. As I was coming back on my last round he said, all nonchalant-like, "You have the gait of a stroke victim." I thought about punching him in the face.
Then he said, "But you've learned to compensate really well."
Somehow I was flattered by this backhanded compliment.
"I do compensate really well, " I thought. "Thanks for noticing." (Eyelashes batting, in my mind.)
I'm proud of my ability to mask the nerve damage that causes me to wobble when I walk. But that's on my right side and we agreed that's never going to get better. So back to my left foot.
He gave me a physical therapy prescription, some sound advice, and a splint to sleep in.
"Do you think I need an orthotic? Do you think this is because one leg is longer than the other?" I asked him.
"What," he said, kind of confused. "No. Only a jackass would think that."
Ok, so maybe he didn't say that last thing. But it was implied.
6 comments:
Ugh! Sorry to hear about your foot. Hope it feels better soon! That's a pretty badass splint.
Gina's boot and Tom Brady's boot are totally going to make out before the Super Bowl.
Coming soon to theaters ... Gina Daugherty in ... My Left Foot 2 - Stompin' the Yard!
After spending Saturday with my yoga-instructing friend, Megan, I'm convinced that all running injuries are the result of misalignment. Must realign ankles, knees, hips, spine. Haven't been to a yoga class yet in '08, but hoping to correct gait problems through conscious sitting and standing. Let's discuss.
If my boot gets to make out with Tom Brady's boot, then it's totally worth all the sleep I don't get because of it. Ow ow!
G, I gotta become friends with Megan too. Maybe I could bribe her with one of those blocks or straps or whatever. I'm all about this conscious sitting and standing stuff. Sounds a lot better than conscious running.
Gina,
Be one with your orthotics. I can't run without mine. They will feel like heaven and you'll get that "groin of steel" you've been looking for. Do not fear the orthotic. Besides, it's much more attractive than the boot.
p.s. my left leg is nearly 1/3 of an inch longer than my right and it's been the reason behind two surgeries, and one cancelled marathon. Take your doc's advice, girlfriend! You won't have to sacrifice strappy sandals and your runs will be far more pleasant!
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