Falling Down

Tuesday morning I fell down in the parking lot walking to my car. Laptop, purse, coffee. Purse contents spilled out. Thermos tumbled to the ground. (Thank god the coffee didn't spill.) The parking lot at my apartment is mostly gravel and grass, and I planted my heel on a rock and went down before I knew it.

Good morning to me!

This happened a few weeks ago too while I was on my cell. The person I was talking to thought I'd been in a crash. "Nah, I just fell down. Where was I?"

Then I started cracking up and looked for blood.

I got nothing to show for these falls. I land on my knees and wrists, but I've yet to have hardly a scratch from them, even though it hurts. Is a bruise too much ask? How about a rock in my hand? Geez, if I'm gonna fall down at least give me something to show for it. (She says as she gets hit by car next time.)

My wobbly left ankle is to blame. If I hit any sort of uneven ground on that side I'm liable to tumble or make an even bigger scene trying to stabilize myself. I went to several doctors in January about this, to no avail.

My next strategy is acupuncture. I went to acupuncture about 5 years ago for a different falling down problem caused by nerve damage. I scoffed at the idea of it working, but had run out options for correcting it. Much to my surprise, the leg weakness that then caused me to fall down subsided and I stopped having to pull myself up stairs with my arms.

Trust me, no one was more surprised it worked than me.

I always thought acupuncture was something that might work for other people, but certainly not me. My problems were real, damn it. They were concrete. I had nerve damage in my back, causing leg weakness. My quadricep was starting to atrophy. Real stuff man.

One doctor told me I had the "strength of an 80 year old woman" (he's lucky I didn't kick him in the face!) and that a hyperbaric oxygen tank (I thought maybe I'd see Michael Jackson!) was my only option. I would have had to go 4 hours a day, five days a week. Then it was only a maybe if it would speed nerve regeneration. Ummm... sounded awesome.

Then my rock star idol doctor, Marcia Bowling, suggested acupuncture. Hahaha! She's funny, I thought.

But by the second visit I thought I felt strength returning to my leg. Surely not, I thought as I ascended some stairs without having to pull myself up them. I am imagining the strength. It's a placebo effect.

I went about 5 times before the problem was solved. Insurance didn't cover any of it. All $600+ came out of pocket. It was worth every penny.

For my latest problem my strategy was deciding a few months ago that I don't actually have ankle weakness. It's psychosomatic, I decided. Except it's not when I fall down, like on Tuesday morning. It seems pretty real then.

So I'm going to try acupuncture again. I'm not convinced it will work, but then again, I don't have to be. We'll see..