Meet Mayor Mark Mallory

What do you say to the mayor after your third cosmo while wearing a Hustler t-shirt?

"Hi Mr. Mayor. I'm Gina Daugherty. I know your brother." I was shaking his hand and had my left hand on his arm, which was very, very thin.

"Oh really. Which one," he wanted to know. We were at Havana Martini Club (I was there for Sue's bachelorette party) and Salsa Caliente was bringing down the house.

Had I not just pounded three cosmos, the last of which was incredibly strong, I would have remembered his brother's name, and maybe even had a plan for what I was going to say before I approached him. But no.

"The one that works for the prosecutor's office. We trade emails and have lunch occasionally," I told him, trying to sound authorative about how well I know I this brother who's name I can't think of.

"Oh, Dwayne!"

"Yeah, Dwayne! I wrote him after you were elected telling him how excited I was for him, and you and me. I was so excited that someone I voted for actually got elected. It doesn't happen to me very often."

"You don't know how many times I've heard that," he said.

Then he introduced me to his lackey, who Christine and I (she was my wing-man and the only person who agreed to go chat up with the mayor with me) decided was too polished... and too cute.

Another cosmo later, I was walking to the bathroom and saw him sitting at a corner table with a crowd of Latino men, and the lackey.

So I ran back and begged Christine to take my photo with him.

"What are you gonna say," she wanted to know. "Are you just going to walk by and I'll take a photo of you walking by, or are you going to tell him?"

"I'm gonna tell him it's for my blog," I said.

Then I plopped down next to him, told him I wanted a picture of us for my blog, put my arm around his shoulders and Christine took the shot. Then his lackeys were like, "Hey look at your Hustler shirt..."

So I said, "Yeah... I support all downtown businesses." Then I ran away.

Back the table Christine goes, "I'm surprised he just did that. I mean, that picture could end up anywhere."

"Yeah, like my blog," I said.