A useful parody
1. The Echo (Echo) is self-seating, so stand by the glass like everyone else. When someone sits down, move up. Those are the rules.
2. If the wait is so long you'll starve to death, Teller's is just around the corner. The food is pricey and there's less of it, but it's pretty good. (No counter service though. Boo.)
3. And you can eat outside just above the Hyde Park surface parking lot, if you like eating near cars.
4. Binkle fries from Honey. No, I will not share.
5. Daybreak has really gone downhill. Service is spotty at best. If you're lucky someone will acknowledge you. Eventually.
6. Once they gave me French fries instead of home fries. Uhh, no. Not all potatoes are equal, Daybreak.
7. But still, the food is pretty good, once you get it.
8. Bacon, extra crispy, no matter where.
9. Mokka French toast with fruit at Mokka.
10. Because anything coated in corn flakes and creme brulee pastry cream rules. Too bad it also has shit service (see Daybreak, #5).
11. I ate next to Paavo's table at GreenUp Cafe. The wait can be cruel, but the food is fantastic. And Paavo might be there.
12. GreenUp also has the best outdoor seating. Urban yet secluded.
13. Deep-fried powdered-sugar covered carnival food is a perfectly acceptable brunch item. These are also called Kettle Cakes at the Hitching Post.
14. If you are under 47 you will be the youngest person at the Hitching Post.
15. I know someone who got engaged at First Watch. (Seriously.) It didn't work out.
16. There is no maple syrup for the waffles at The Coffee Shop on Madison. They're sweet already so you don't need it. But you will need something to offset the dryness, so get some cream on top. Or chocolate syrup.
17. Or forgo the waffles all together and do one of Toms' Pot Pies. Big hunks of chicken and vegetables in that resolve-weaking pot-pie gravy. (Hey, you need fuel up for your Flying Pig training, right?)
18. The table at the large picture window is the best. The outdoor seating blows, though, unless you like eating on a sidewalk and breathing in exhaust fumes from the traffic 15 feet away. (See #3 also.)
19. The breakfast bar at Frisch's is something. Lots of grease and big vats of canned pears and peaches swimming around in heavy syrup.
20. And further, greasy bacon, horrible eggs and sawdust gravy. Eat at your own risk. Better yet, order from the menu.
21. Should you find yourself at Children's Hospital (hopefully because you work there and not because you have a sick child) then the biscuits and gravy are the best in town. For real. Better than the Echo even. And they're only $1.35 for one biscuit with gravy. (Which is all you should eat anyway.)
22. Bronte is great because afterwards you can browse (read: buy lots of) new books, newspapers and magazines. And the food is good.
23. Good company (or at least interesting company) is key no matter where you are for brunch.
24. Unless you have a newspaper, magazine or book, then screw company.
25. And if you don't want to go out you can never go wrong with a bacon, egg and tomato sandwich from home.
4 comments:
try bellevue bistro.
This is brilliant.
Also, I bet I could work things out so I get engaged at the Hitching Post. Too bad they don't have champagne.
Would you get engaged during a weekend brunch, or are you thinking Wednesday's World's Best Fried Chicken night would be more your style?
Either would be awesome, but I'm going to have to go with fried chicken night. No champagne, but those green beans are delish.
Best 25 list ever!
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