Some women storm out of bars on their boyfriends because he's a big jerk, or he's ogling other women, or maybe because he's dumping her.
Not this girl.
I left Ray sitting at bar this weekend because - wait for it! - he told me he didn't vote for the smoking ban.
I said, 'I can't date you anymore.' And I meant it.
For about 7 minutes.
Then about halfway home I thought, 'Uh oh, I just got all crazy pissy about a smoking ban... that passed five years ago. And I left Ray sitting at the bar. Oh. Crap. He's gonna be maaaaaad.'
Think, Daugherty, think! Tell him you're sorry. No wait, tell him you're having your period! YEAH. Oh, right. Umm... tell him it all started in the fourth grade... and you never learned to read!
Fortunately, Ray is more rational than I am when I've been, how shall I say this... overserved.
He wasn't even that mad that I dumped him, left in a fury and abandoned him at a bar by himself.
But seriously, who doesn't vote for the smoking ban?
Eh, he was young and stupid. As opposed to me, who is occasionally drunk and stupid.
Best. Girlfriend. Ever.