Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Enjoying The Ride

"Name me someone that's not a parasite, and I'll go out and say a prayer for him."
Bob Dylan, Visions of Johanna

Tonight is my Christmas Eve. I am waiting with eager anticipation for Lance Armstrong to come down the chimney... in the form of the Oprah interview tomorrow night. I haven't been this excited since that whole Petraeus thing broke out.

I even considered having a party for the occasion but decided against it because I don't want a bunch of people talking during the interview and keeping from enjoying this magical moment. So I will be at home curled up on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate. I hope Lance and Oprah both cry… while wearing Livestrong bracelets.

Everyone else is just as excited as me, it seems.

While waiting to buy coffee this morning I couldn't help but smile while reading this breathless, sensational contempt of Lance on the front page of USAToday. 

"After a decade of denial, Armstrong is still looking out for No. 1: Lance. Which is why he deserves nothing but disdain. ...The worst cheater in the history of sports has come clean not because it's the right thing to do, but because he must believe it's the expedient thing to do."

The writer goes on: "He also all but destroyed the entire sport."

Disdain deserving!
The worst cheater EVER! In history! In all sports!
Destroyed an entire sport!

It's all very… emotional. And I can't get enough of it.

Who cares if Lance has finally admitted to being a liar and a cheat, what folks are particularly upset about is that he's a world class a-hole.

Lance is just one blip on the steroid map of sports, but people are coming undone, calling for blood (his dirty, dopey, EPO spoiled blood!) and demanding that everyone take a moment (including Oprah) to remember all those who he screwed over on his head-stomping way to the top (er, bottom).

People are pissed. And that's my real interest here. People still give a shit about Lance Armstrong? Huh. I didn't even realize he was still infamous. (What's that kid doing these days, anyway?)

His 'wins' and 'success' story are so far gone, so long ago 'won' and tarnished, that I sort of forgot about him. Now he is back on the front pages. Does this mean I can wear my yellow Livestrong bracelet again? Are those back in fashion now that he's is back too?

Long ago I was a conflicted Lance Armstrong fan. Not because he won the Tour de France a million times or rocked yellow, a color that doesn't do anyone any favors really, but because of his book with Sally Jenkins, It's Not About the Bike.

It's still one of my favorite all time reads, be it memoir, non-fiction or now I guess, fiction. (They can re-release it as fiction now, right?)

Even though my fandom (it's relative, he's no Madonna or Dolly Parton), was untenable all those years ago because his cheating was already widely known and well documented, I still championed his Livestrong cause. I appreciated that his charity raised money and helped people affected by cancer of all kinds, not just certain types. Livestrong gave people who's cancer didn't originate in the breast community too. Just look at those millions of bracelets. (But hey, we want our dollar back, Lance!)

His story really isn't anymore interesting than anyone else's fall from grace story. Lance Armstrong: Liar, cheater and a straight-a asshole. Eh. Kinda boring. But you know what is exciting, when people cry to The Oprah. Or jump on her couch.

I'll make popcorn.

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