Tuesday, March 06, 2012

A Story About Subway - Eat Fresh

It's been the best of times, it's been the worst of times.

In the best of times, the new Subway at the UC College of Medicine is a delicious, warm, veggie-packed sandwich of goodness when the cafeteria has sucky lunches or soggy, greasy paninis.

In the worst of times it is baked bread temptation as I'm going to the gym, so that all I can think about while I'm running five minute miles on the treadmill and performing ridiculous reps of unassisted chin-ups is the thought of warm baked bread housing cheese and bacon.

Conveniently/horribly, my gym is located directly under the Subway.

The other problem is that the Boss Man is completely obsessed with Subway, yet he refuses to go over there himself. Instead he hovers around my desk several times a week demanding sandwiches and throwing $5 bills at me, and when that doesn't work he litters my desk with photos of Subway's "endless creations."

He's very subtle.

It's no surprise then that I go there so much that the staff calls me hon and sweetie. Ok. They call everyone that. But I think they like me better because I am nicer and I always know what I want right away.

The sandwich makers are all pretty nice. But my favorite is the dude who works there who calls me "miss."

What would you like, miss? Miss, do you want this toasted? Do you want jalepenos, miss?

He's probably in his late 20s, early 30s... and I am totally in love with him.

He's not like, "Whoa! Works at Subway and is totally doable!" He's more like, "Nice guy who works at Subway who calls me miss and is therefore totally lovable." (Every guy's worst nightmare, right? To be loveable, but not doable. Ouch.)

You know how in the Princess Bride when Wesley tells Buttercup "as you wish," but what he is really saying is "I love you" to her?

It's just like that with me and Subway Guy. He's all, "Would you like cucumber... because you're awesome, miss." And I'm all, "I would love some cucumber... but not as much as I love you."

Sure, on the surface it seems like I'm just ordering a sandwich and he's making it, but there is actually A LOT going on there... in my head.

I'm always getting attached to these random, peripheral characters in my life who have no idea the little roles they play in my imagination. I'm sure if he knew Subway Guy would be like, "Umm... here's Betty. She'll be making your sandwiches from now on. Ya freak."

And I'd weep into my bag of Baked Barbecue Lays.

You can't see him in this photo, but you can probably feel our bond.

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