Monday, June 20, 2011

China Can Go To Hell


Didn't you guys notice I was being miserable?!


Gina, you're so awesome… why all this discontent and drear?

Why, thank you. And thank you for asking. I appreciate that.

Blah. I'm bored.

Currently I am drowning my sorrows in a Pizza Rolls, which I will regret eating immediately after eating them, only adding to my misery.

Misery loves Pizza Rolls.

It's just me and the Roomba this week, you guys. And the cats. Ray is in China. For like, a month. A month.

Ok, it's not actually a month. It's more like a week, but still. BORING.

Anybody want to go to the pool with me this weekend? What about walk with me to Graeter's? More importantly, who wants to cook me dinner to prevent me from eating my body weight in frozen foods every night.

*anybody? anybody?

Hopefully I will channel this energy into grocery shopping and reading. But this is highly unlikely as I'm more prone to lethargy and watching Real Housewives re-runs.

As far as I can tell right now the highlights of my week will be:

• brushing the cats (and having them shred me)
• eating free food at the Reds/Yankees game tonight (I hope there are nachos)
• watching the Roomba (ok fine, I follow it from room to room)
• drowning my boredom in cheap red wine (what else is new)

The last time Ray went on a trip for a week I bought an iPad. The time before that I bought a fancy chair. And another time I got tipsy at Wine Guy Bistro, called him on his way back from St. Louis and told him if he didn't drive directly to my house I was going to take the battery out of my smoke alarm.

Take that, I warned.

Look for me this week wandering around the aisles of Target. One minute you're buying pet clothes for your Roomba and the next you're all, "Ooh, an Easy Bake Oven!"

Ray's gonna be so stoked when he gets back and discovers I've become the Ace of Cakes, Easy Bake Oven style. Plus, I'm gonna need to make desserts for our new baby. He promised to bring me back a present... which can only mean one thing, a cute Asian baby!

And don't even tell me babies don't love baked goods because that's a lie.

I am a danger to society.

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