A completely accurate transcript of a conversation with my relay teammate and colleague Patrick.
PATRICK: How was your run last night.
ME: Awesome. It was like the wind carried me on its sails.
PATRICK: You didn't run, did you?
ME: Nope... See, the thing is Patrick, I have other things on my mind. The Pig is at the bottom of my priority list.
PATRICK: So you're saying you couldn't care less.
PATRICK: There is going to be a two-hour window in about two weeks where you're going to regret saying that.
ME: Maybe. I'm curious what will happen to me. If I die it's your fault.
PATRICK: I don't know what's going to happen you, but I know what I'm worried about... me not starting my part of the relay. Oh, and secondly, I'm worried about your injury potential.
ME: Glad me dying and being carted away by medics ranks second on your list.
PATRICK: I'm trying to help you avoid that fate.
ME: Second is the first loser.
Boss Man to Patrick upon hearing he follows me in the relay: You're in deep shit.