I went to get an MRI at Proscan, which happens to be located in Paul Brown Stadium.
I entered the black gate where the players enter.
As I waited for a Proscan employee to rescue me from the bowels of Paul Brown Stadium (she said it'd be about ten minutes) I ate a snack from a machine filled with cheese danishes, donut sticks, Hostess cupcakes and cherry fruit pies. Not very healthy snack options for our athletes I don't think.
I noted the direction of the "Bengals locker room and interview" and "Photographer check-in" sign as I ate a bag of Cheetos.
Then I was picked up by this sweet ride and was driven about 30 feet to the Proscan office. I guess some people needing MRIs can't really walk.
After my appointment was over the nice girl who came to get me kindly drove me around the inside stadium in the golf cart. For fun. On our journey I saw several Ben-Gals going to practice, one of whom had long, bouncy dark hair and was wearing a black sports bra and leopard print boy-short underwear. And tennis shoes.
"That girl is in her underwear," I said to the Proscan girl as we drove past. "I wish I could get a photo of her six-pack."
Alas I didn't get a photo of her, but I did get this photo of the field.
Then the Proscan girl warned me about this dummy, which she said always freaks her out when she drives past. I can see why.
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