Wednesday, March 27, 2013

This Is Love - Water Shooting At Your Butt

Behold, my new bidet.

This bad boy is no joke. It will shoot water clear across the house.

Isn't it amazing?!

Ray installed the BioBidet 250 last night to help me with 'butt burn.' In case you are unfamiliar, 'butt burn' is a scientific condition that results from going to the bathroom too much.

It's a long story but, in essence - Some of my intestines decided to revolt (I dunno why, my insides seem like a fun place to party to me), so they had to be cut out and the good parts had to be sewn back together with the rest of the good parts that were still down to party inside my abdomen.

Post surgery number two, this means sometimes running to the bathroom. Literally, running.

But with my new bidet, my booty is fresh in no time! I can't believe I didn't get one years ago, just for fun.

It's amazing just how accurate the water trajectory is too - BAM! Right in the sweet spot.

Speaking of sweet spots, it features 'posterior' and 'feminine' wash settings. I'm afraid to try the feminine wash setting though for fear I will never leave the house again.

I strongly urge all of you to come over and try it. Clean. As. A. Whistle. And refreshing on your bum too.

Tell all your friends.

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