Now More Awake!

Observations from being a awake at 6 am:

• But, but… I was just starting REM sleep.

• Blink, blink, blink. It's... dark

• Omg, I'm BLIND!

• Wait... ohhhhh, the sun hasn't risen yet.

• I can totally put on make-up in the dark. And Visine.

• Everyone else on the planet is still asleep, laughing at me in their dreams.

• Hold up. Is the cat talking to me? Oh right, I'm actually still asleep.

• Traffic lights? Phssht. Disregard. There's no traffic at this hour.

• O.M.G. Look at all this parking!

• Arrive at 6:30 am meeting - Look, I don't know what cesspool in hell you monsters crawled out of, but I hope you go back there. (In my head.)

• Now, everyone raise their hand, Who likes to rise and shine all early and get shiz done?! All rightty, you go getters!! Now back the hell away from me because we are not friends.

• P.S. This post has nothing to do with First Watch other than I think their logo looks really awake. Like it's already had two Triathlete omelettes and a pot of coffee.