It's GO Time

I've decided to do the Jingle Bell Run this year. I did it a few years ago for my my sweet mama, who has Rheumatoid arthritis. I was pretty out of shape then, and I'd venture to guess I'm even more out of shape now.

Since my dude is all about making training calendars, I kindly asked him, in my sweetest voice possible, if he'd put me together a schedule.

"Yo, make me a Jingle Bell Run training calendar, will ya."

He gleefully agreed and began asking questions I wasn't quite prepared to answer, such as, "Can you run for five minutes?"

"God no. Why would I want to do that?" I said I as I popped some candy corn into my mouth.

"But you can run for 90 seconds, right?"

Good god. What does he want from me?

"Look buddy, I don't have to prove anything," I say. "I've already climbed my Everest, I survived cancer."

"Yeah. How long are you going to coast on that?"

Oooh. It's your funeral now, dude.

"I'm going to blog you said that and everyone is going to know what a douche canoe you are."

Haha. Douche canoe. Man that's hilarious.

"I'm going to name this training calendar 'Sack up, Daugherty.'"

Pause for effect so I can ask my next question real sweet sounding.

"You're going to do the race with me, right baby?"

"Of course."

"Good. I hope you fall down and I beat you."

"Ha. It'd be the only way you'd beat me."

Ooh burn. I don't say anything yet because I can't think of a comeback. Damn it.

"I'm done with your calendar. You're running three days a week. Don't be a candy ass about it."

"Oh yeah?! Well, don't be candy-ass when I push your ass down at the race and dust you!"

Hahahaha. Good one, Daugherty. Way to wait for it.

Then he ignored me, which really, really drives me crazy.

"Didn't you hear me?! I said, I'M GOING TO PUSH YOU DOWN AT THE RACE!"

More silence.

Grrr!!!!

So, please join this happy little effort of ours on December 5. You know, if you like waking up early on Saturday mornings in the freezing December cold to run down the street.

And come on, who doesn't love that?