Don't Hate The Player, Hate The Game

The real reason LeBron chose Miami over Akron is because the owner of the Cavs uses suck-ass fonts in his open letter hissy fit to fans.

Geez Dan Gilbert. It's not like Tiger Woods cheated on you with prostitutes. Cowardly betrayal? Curses in Comic-Sans? ALL CAPS promises of championships? You'll be sorry, LeBron, you… you… jerk!

I too am disappointed. Ohio will be a lot less hott without LeBron in it. And I'd be mad too if I got dumped via text, er TV. But easy there psycho-lovelorn-cry baby. You're making LeBron look like the adult here.

I get it. What a great cinderella story had he stayed his entire career in the hometown that drafted him, built him up, built their whole world around him. But then again, no. It's his path. The kid's gotta make his own way, and sometimes that means leaving home. I outgrew my hometown too. It's not you, it's us. (Well, it's partially you. But thankfully I'm not talented or rich enough for them to notice and write me hatemail.)

He's an insanely talented 25-year-old kid who wants to play ball and win championships. If he thinks he can do that best in Miami, well, play on playa. I'll be wearing my No. 23 Cavs t-shirt tonight in solidarity.

Meanwhile, enjoy the greatest commercial ever made. Oh Lord!