True This, Mostly

A few gems from my mom tonight.

1.) "Gina, let me tell you, there is no graceful way to get into an intertube at a wave pool."

2.) "Your cousin had cupcakes instead of wedding cake. Everybody got their own little cupcake. They're less messy and really cute."

3.) "You can't get a tattoo on your wrist. They could cut a vein and you'll bleed to death."

Roughin' It

I got tricked¹ into going camping² this weekend.

1.) And by tricked I mean I said, "Heck yeah I want to go camping!"

2.) And by camping I mean we stayed in a cabin with two hot tubs.

"Camping Lite" is what it's called, I believe.

Has It Been A Week?

This time last week I was washing dishes and cleaning up after Julie's going away, where we sacrificed meat and Boca burgers on the grill for her good fortune in New York.

When you sit beside someone at work for 40+ hours a week they get to know you better than anyone. And certainly Julie learned things about me in the two years she sat behind me that most people didn't know.

She listened to my stories, heard my phone conversations and was often the first person to hear what was happening in my life. And I learned a lot about her.

What was wonderful about sitting beside Julie was that she always had a hilarious reply to whatever the situation was. Be it trivial or seemingly important at the time, talking to Julie about it always made it seem better. She helped me sort things out and gave me another perspective.

She and Kari and I were the three amigos at our last job. And we had the odd fortune of all leaving at the same time, so none of us had to sit in our cubicle and miss the other. That was 8 months ago and still we start a new thread of emails every few days to catch up, talk about our weeks and make plans. It's remarkable, really, we've continued to do this for so long.

But now Julie's dispatches will come via her office in Manhattan and her new place in Greenwich. Thankfully she's already sent us one, letting us know that her cross-country trek behind the wheel of a U-Haul went safely.

I'm still in denial. I'm sure she'll be over in the fall once Thursday Office Nights are back on. You'll be there, right Julie? Julie?

Jules?! You there?!

(Sniff, sniff, is it dusty in here?)

Way Back

Like this, only smaller.

Joe and I go way back - all the way to Marion, Indiana, where I grew up hearing his voice from the stereo in our garage.

I'd be sweeping up saw dust or hammering boards together while my dad drank iced-tea and listened to the Reds games. He and Marty's voices were as recognizable to me as anyone's. Of course back then I was a little kid and didn't know who they were.

It wasn't until I moved to Ohio in 1999 that I heard Joe's voice again on the radio and tried to place it. That's when I discovered he was legendary in these parts and that he grew up where I was living at the time - good ol' Hamilton. Me and a colleague at the Journal-News used to take long lunches and go hit golf balls at Nuxhall's driving range in Joyce Park. It was like Joe was everywhere.

So needless to say I'm pretty excited for tonight's Joe Nuxhall figurine give-away. It'll look like the statue of him in front of the stadium, only smaller of course. (omgHelmetSundae will have regular figurine and snack updates.)

I've got more player bobbleheads than I care to count - still in the box, still encased in styrofoam. I never even open them. Couldn't care less about them. But I feel like I'll actually take ol' Joe out of the box, give him some breathing room, show him off a bit.

Yep. I've been knowing Joe for a long time.

WTF Is Going On In This Town?

First came the news that Western Bowl might close. News so tragic I cried as I thought about all the bowling pin shaped Miller Lite's I've drank there.

Ronson was so upset he threatened to chain himself to the neon sign.

Say it ain't so, Western Bowl! What about the Hoinke Classic? What about all those gutter balls good times we shared?

Then Kari sent me this story about a stabbing in the Levee parking garage. The Levee, y'all! It's all movies and books and ice-cream... and now stabbings. (Though really, as Julie pointed out, that parking garage it totally hostile.)

And then Thursday came this - a shirtless, shoeless, vomity dude passed out on a sidewalk downtown, unable to utter anything but "Blackfinn."

Daaang. Blackfinn is off the chain, for realz!

Ahhh. I love this town.

Oh No She Di'nt!

The landlord, Jim, cares about only three things as far as I can tell:

1. A cold brew after work

2. His little dog

3. The lawn

And now look what someone did! Some chick drove her Saturn through the lawn yesterday after she got pinned in by a UPS truck.

The only thing worse would have been if she'd have run over his little dog while speeding through the lawn and stole the Bud Light bottle out of his hand as she went past.

I Love You, Motorola Flip Phone

I talked some smack about Flip Phone in the lunch line today and it repaid me later by falling onto the ground and not working anymore.

You might remember Flip Phone and I had an argument last summer.

Howard at T-Mobile suggested I try dropping it again because his idea to reset the master switch didn't work. So that's what I did - I came home, tossed it into the air and let it crash to the hardwood. And guess what? It totally worked!

Flip Phone is back to it's magical powers of calling, texting and taking photos. I heart you Flip Phone!

Things That Are "Boring As Hell"

According to my dad:

• Bowling
• The NBA
• Phantom of the Opera
• The movie The Passion of the Christ
• The Easter Pageant
• John Wayne movies (unless there is another big star, such as Robert Mitchum, Kirk Douglas, Henry Fonda)